"Here's hoping."

There is one thing I have realized in the past 8 days. I suck at blogging. I mean, I haven't been particularly dedicated to this blog. In fact, it wasn't even my choice to start it, way back when. I just did it because my friend was bugging me to, and it seemed like everyone 'cool' had one. But now I am rededicating myself to this blog. It may not always be particularly witty, and it's incredibly unlikely that it will ever be funny. But it's here, and I might as well make it half-way decent, right? And there is one thing that I promise you, my two or three readers. This will NEVER be a place to:

A. Vent (Ok, maybe sometimes. But rarely, and they will be understandable, and not about some lame moment or thought in my life. If I vent, it will be about world events or something big.)

B. Showcase lame writing attempts (I feel that I've come to a place in my life where I can understand whether or not my writing is decent. If I ever, god help me, write a lame piece about a Victorian-era lady finding her prince, or some piece of crap like that, please shoot me. After all, it seems like there are way to many girls out there who actually think they're good story tellers, especially romances! I pride myself in knowing that stories will never be my strength.)

C. Write a poem (Does this really need explanation?)

D. Waste time (If I write on this blog, it will be thought out and decent. No more two AM sessions of writing simply because I am bored.)

Well, that's all. This is my blog's new beginning. Here's hoping.

The Quickest Post Ever.

So. This is being written after frantically studying for my Spanish exam, and before frantically making my dorm spotless so I can leave for Christmas break. Therefore, this is in bullet point form, to save time.

Things that I have been doing lately:

• Exams. Death!!
• Writing a 35 source Political Science paper about the circumstances under which the international community should use economic sanctions against rogue states.
• Meeting new people. Who are, coincidentally, wonderful.
• Seeing old people. As in, old friends. They aren't elderly or anything.
• Dancing! Why yes, I have been a part of numerous 1 AM dance parties on Tharp 3rd.
• Taco Tuesday! 75 cent tacos :)
• Downtown Chatt. So fun!

Things that I will be doing Summer 2011:

• WORKING AT GLACIER BAY NATIONAL PARK IN ALASKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so excited about this! I'll be working in the Lodge there! I will leave from Nashville, fly to Seattle, and the next day I will fly to Juneau, Alaska! After this, I will take an Air Taxi (the worlds smallest plane) to Gustavas, Alaska, where employees from the park will pick me up! I will spend my summer sea kayaking, hiking, and biking in one of the most beautiful, wild places on earth! Most visitors to the park don't even set foot on land, they just view the glaciers from cruise ships. I, however, will have access to the entire park, and all of it amenities for free! On my time off, of course. I get to kayak in the ocean with whales! Oh, man. I'm so pumped. And here are some pictures of this amazing place.

Lazy Sundays and Crushes

So.... I have a crush. For the first time in... a long time. Like, full on giddy, facebook stalking crush. And I love it! So here's my top reasons why crushing on a guy is awesome.

1. That gidddy, butterflies in your stomach feeling when he smiles at you.

2. Secretly hoping that you'll run into him no matter where you are. Or Facebook stalking him so you KNOW that you'll run into him.

3. The first moment when you realize that you have a crush on him.

4. How your heart does a flippy flop every time he hugs you or touches you.

5. When he comments on a Facebook post or photo of you.

6. When he pays special attention to you, even when there's other stuff you assumed he'd rather be doing.

But, alas, not all can be good. So here's the worst parts ab

out having a crush.

1. When your Facebook stalking and have that

moment of "OMG why is he talking to her?!"

2. When you wonder if your bugging him if you text him.

3. That whole, "I won't see him for a while, but I don't technically have a right to be sad about that!"

4. When you realize that he likes someone else. (Which doesn't always happen, but when it does, it sucks.)

So yea. That's what I've spent most of this lazy Sunday thinking about. Now I have to face reality, and study Political Science. After all, that is my major. I should work harder on it than anything else! Otherwise I'll never make it to Columbia.

When I did a Google Image search for Columbia Law school, I found this:

WTF?!

Which then got me thinking about how wordy this post his. So here's some photos, courtesy of weheartit.com

Eisley is my favorite band. And I will be seeing them for the third time this Tuesday! YES!

Yum :)

I just re-read the first book. And now I'm a little bit obsessed ;)

Yes, please.

This ridiculously amazing concoction that my friend came up with: hot chocolate + a bit of instant coffee= food heaven!

I CANNOT wait to see this band in concert! Nashville, October 30! So soon!

And, finally, my desk. Post-its, the Lee Clarion, blogging, Facebook notifications, and coffee :)

"Ugh."

I'm exhausted. Physically, mentally, spiritually.

Today, I have been studying since 2 pm. It is now 3:25 AM and I have a list of sources due for a major paper at 10 AM. I have ten sources. I need at least 15, and really should go up to 20 or so. My topic is "Under what circumstances should state's use economic sanctions against rogue states?" Not exactly something I can BS, especially since it is a literature review. I also have a PoliSci quiz to study for.

I'm pissed off because I spent hours today working on a direct for Mock Trial, yet I am still not a lawyer. I am a witness who has just done 80% of the work that my lawyer should have done, except he hasn't been to the last two meetings and just waltzes in there without doing anything. Yet he's a lawyer. Bull Shit.

My head is pounding. My lower back hurts. And I lost my contacts, so I'm forced to wear glasses. Which I hate.

I'm not doing well in Spanish. And that's killing me.

Last night, I had to deal with a ridiculous convocation with a psycho preacher who thinks Tyler Clementi killed himself because he was overwhelmed with guilt, not because he was being tortured by 'christians' and closed-minded assholes.

I have a huge crush on this adorable, wonderful guy. Who, I think, has a thing for the cute, petite blonde. Ugh.

I won't be sleeping tonight. I will be skipping my 11 o'clock class, Spanish, and going to sleep for the whole day.

There's not enough hours in the day.

Why do I need to sleep so badly? I know kids who go for days with only a few hours of sleep, and look and feel fine. Jealousy...

Memorializing.....

So, I've decided that I really need to stop being lazy and start memorializing my college years. I mean, they are such a unique time! When else will I live in a place that is solely made of young people and learning? So here are some photos from the past week. It was very interesting....

This is Ty. Yes, that is a fake fetus on a string. I doubt Lee will be using this as an advertisement for the Kairos Honor Society.

This is Tyler. He's super intellectual, and the sweetest guy ever.

This is Jordan. He is.... sarcastic. And hilarious.

This is Natalie. She is one of the sweetest, most beautiful people ever. She should have been born in the Victorian age.

This is Abby. She is my musical soul mate.

Me, Paige, Bekah. I have known Bekah for almost six years and she is my bestie. Paige plays rugby and should be a therapist.

This is Diff. He's my peer leader, my friend, and tries really hard to give me advice. He's hilarious and sweet and sincere.

This is Samson (the dog). He's the sweetest dog ever. And I don't even know his owners name.

This is Hanna. She's super fashionable in that whole "I just threw this on" kinda way.

Fin. (for now)

"I wouldn't change it for anything..."

So here are a few things I've learned about life.

1. Apparently I'm "computer savvy." And apparently one lesson on hacking from a nerd can get you into anyone's facebook account. Interesting.....

2. Don't post something online, delete it, and expect it to be gone. Cause guess what? There's copies of everything online and I can find them quite easily.

3. It really pisses me off when a perfume store is called "His Witness: Christian Perfumes and Gifts". Yea, you people suck. Cause perfumes can't be Christian.

4. I love naps. Specifically, I love naps on Saturday afternoons when I can wake up and go to Target with one of my BFFs after.

5. Rugby is violent. And I love it. Does that make me a bad person?

6. Lame youtube videos can make my day so much better.

7. Driving through your hometown can bring back bittersweet memories. No matter how badly I wanted out, it's still my home. I miss you, Collegedale.

8. My hair looks like an afro when I wake up.

9. People who say "I am who I am and I'm not changing for anyone or anything" are complete idiots. The universe revolves around change. Now, I'm not saying that you should go dye your hair bleach blonde because you want to join a sorority. But, change can be good. You can grow in yourself, in your religion, and in your wants, needs, and desires.

10. But sometimes, change can be bad. Don't backslide. Don't lose the fundamental aspects of yourself. And don't throw the things or people you care about most because you think there's something wrong with you.

11. Longboards are cool. There's no denying it. But don't run me over with it because you have no idea what your doing. And don't think YOUR cool because the OBJECT your on is cool. It's like saying your cool because your standing on the Eiffel Tower. It just doesn't work.

12. It can be hard to readjust to a new place. But it's so exhilarating that I wouldn't change it for anything.

13. Sometimes the best friends are the ones who slap you and say "Dude, WAKE UP" (both metaphorically and for reals.) But sometimes, the best ones let you nap for three hours because they know how badly you need it.

14. I'm addicted to Facebook. Ugh.

15. It's so easy to crush on older guys. :)

16. But it's better to become friends with said older guys. Because they're (usually) mature enough to give you some awesome advice.

17. I'm a freakin social butterfly.

18. I'm also a nerd. Those two don't mix well.

19. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and say I'm sorry.

20. But sometimes, your right, and you have to decide whether it's worth it or not to hold onto the right to say "I'm right. Your wrong. Deal with it."

21. And sometimes its alright to skip your homework to get out all of the stuff that's been floating around your head for a week and a half.

G'night all. Here's a photo that makes me smile.

"the jankest place to be found in Cleveland, TN"

Today I went to the jankest place to be found in Cleveland, Tn. Scratch that. One of the jankest places. Either way, Farmhouse is a restaurant frequented by Lee students because of the large portions and cheap prices. And it was AMAZING. For serious. I ordered the vegetable plate (Yay for being vegetarian) and I must say, the mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, cole slaw, and corn nuggets were the epitome of down-home southern cooking. I have never felt so full after eating the cafeteria food! It was in this tiny little building that looked like a run-down bar. I was actually kind of nervous going in! Afterwards, I rode around with the two other thirds of the Tres Hermanos and we rocked out to Lady Gaga. We might have gotten a wolf whistle from another car... All in all, an amazing, hectic, wonderful day!

"monumental changes..."

Wow. I cannot believe how long it has been since my last post. Well, I suppose I should start out with the monumental changes that have occurred in my life.

1. I started college!!!!!

2. I'm on the Mock Trial team aka The Society for Law and Justice

3. I've met some wicked awesome people.

4. I miss my home friends! I've known them all since Freshman year, and I've known some for way longer than that.

5. I live in a dorm. It's really small. But it's a great community, and I'm right in the center of campus.

6. I've gotten into some awesome music, courtesy of my awesome friend Abby. She makes AMAZING mix CD's.

7. I discovered that I'm socially awkward. Apparently I'm not good at the whole meeting new people thing.

8. I've become randomly spontaneous. Ex: Abby mentioned that there was a cool band, Ra Ra Riot playing in Nashville, and that she wanted to go. Despite never even hearing about this band, I jumped online and bought tickets and will be crashing on her boyfriends floor the night of the concert. Which is really strange for me.

Well, goodnight all. My roommate is asleep and I am headed that way.

Memories...

There are two things that I have learned about myself in the past two days.

1. I am very sentimental. 2. I am very materialistic.

As for no. 1, I am sure there are many many 18 year olds that are feeling the same way. In 4 days, I will walk out of my house, drive thirty minutes to Lee University, and move in. A tiny, 14 by 16 room will be my home for the next 9 months. I will live with a girl that I have never met, and only spoken to four times. I will share a bathroom with my roommate, and two suitemates, one from New York City, and one from Cleveland, who enjoys hunting. Yay. (I should point out that I'm a vegetarian, as is my roommate. Somehow I don't think we'll be BFFs with our suitemate!)

2. Number 1 is the whole reason that I realized number 2. I have tons of CRAP. Seriously. In my short eighteen years in this room, I have collected a crazy amount of useless stuff. And I like it that way. I doubt I'll ever be one of those minimalistic people who like fung shui and order. I... like disorder. I enjoy throwing my bracelet down on my desk, accidentally knocking it off, and not finding it for 3 months. That's just the way I am. Clutter makes a room feel.... completed. Without clutter, rooms feel like they are just part of a hotel, not really home. Because people collect clutter as they go throughout their lives. There's no denying it, and it's impossible to avoid. And this is where my two realizations about myself collide. Some people realize their materialism, spend a day de-cluttering their home, and move on, feeling better about their nicely organized space. Not me. I hold on to this clutter, not wanting to lose it. It reminds me of the things in my life that have defined me. I have an old, signed ticket from an Eisley concert two years ago sitting in a picture frame that holds a photo of me and one of my bffs, Stephie. This ticket is old, dirty, and smells faintly of disgusting smoke and beer. But it is one of my most treasured items. I still have a Best Buy gift card that I have never used, because it is from a boy that I will probably never completely get over. And I have 2 and a half years worth of Teen Vogues that I refuse to throw in the trash, no matter how many times my mother tries to get me to. I guess that's just who I am.

I think I'm developing a pattern of writing posts at late hours. Maybe that's when I'm psychotic enough to put my views and personal opinions about everything from my life to Sarah Palin online where anyone can read them. BTW, I dislike Sarah Palin. I think she could have had a chance at being beneficial to the U.S. if she had actually learned anything about government beforehand. Now, I just can't get all of those SNL skits out of my head. Well, the skits and the fact that I disagree with a large majority of her opinions. On on somewhat related note, a guy (very cute) came into Smoothie King today. After ordering his smoothie, paying, and saying "Thanks, you have a good day too," he proceeds to tell me, "Vote my dad for judge, Jay Atherton, cause he's a great guy." I have to tell you, if I were voting, I would most definitely not vote for a candidate based on his teenage son's view of him! Well, at least that gave me some interesting ideas about arguing with cute boys in Smoothie Kings about whether or not Republicans have any idea how to run the government. Good times.... On a slightly hilarious note, I have recently discovered Chelsea Lately! This show is.... hilarious. I cannot even explain the hilarity. I can merely show:

This chick makes me hold my stomach and laugh so hard I cry. And on that happy note, I sign off, with a promise to myself that I will keep up this 2 day streak of writing every day. And that I will actually write about things that are interesting to people other than myself. And that they won't all be about how I fear the future.

Oh, the random analogy I came up with at 1 AM

If theres one thing I've discovered about myself lately, it's that I am a loner. Somehow, I spent the last few months of high school being terrified of losing my friends after we graduated. Yet, I have realized that I am kind of pushing them away. Why is this? Is my fear of losing them making me want some control over the situation? Have I out grown them? Or have they out grown me? Slowly, I see my friends moving on. I see them spending all of there time with people I do not know and do not relate to, instead of desiring to spend any time at all with me. I see them growing in amazing ways, processes that I was not a part of. I see them stretching their lives around so many new things that I do not comprehend. And it scares me. But at the same time, it challenges me; it slaps me in the face; it does not allow me to waver in my indecisiveness. It shoves me over the cliff. I am in free fall, and there is no one beside me. I look up, and at the edge of the cliff I see those people who I thought were my everything, and I ache at the thought of leaving them, but I also shake my fist at them. I look down, towards a great ocean of prosperity and happiness. But to fall into this ocean I must navigate my way past the great, jagged rocks that stick out of the crashing waves and threaten me. I have no idea where I will land. I have no idea if a great gust of wind will push me back towards the cliff. And I do not know if those that I left at the edge of the cliff will jump, and join me. My life is one of a great many unknowns. And I'm horrifically exhilarated by that.

I Heart New York!

So sorry I haven't posted in so long! Been sooo busy! The class trip to New York was AMAZING! The city is so diverse and bustling! My THREE graduation ceremonies were kind of heart breaking and uber-exciting all at once! When I finally marched to Pomp and Circumstance I felt like my whole life was open to anything! So now begins the nerve wracking business of getting ready for college. Wow. How crazy is that? I'M GOING TO COLLEGE! But for now I need to worry about finishing my application for the Honors Program. "Write a 300-500 word essay on your experience learning to ride a bike." Seriously? I barely remember that! O well. I'm actually quite good at describing events, writing stories, ect. So it should be fine. However, I am incredibly nervous about attempting to pack my whole life into a tiny dorm room! Luckily my mother is a master organizer, so I will be depending on her for most of that! About to head to work. Oh, the joys of cleaning.

"the future is wide open"

Had a WONDERFUL Friday! School went by surprisingly fast! I also went shopping with one of my friends. So much fun! Then went to Starbucks for a Extra Coffee Caramel Frappaccino! Yum :) I bought two dresses for Graduation! I am so excited, I only have one week left of school! Then class trip to NYC! I have never truly experience New York. Only once have I been, and we spent the entire time shopping in China Town for knockoffs! Which are quite good, actually. But we'll be doing the typical tourist things, of course, like visiting the Statue of Liberty and Top of the Rock. We're also going to see Stomp and the Broadway play the Fantasiks. I cannot wait to spend 5 days just chillin with all of my friends. It's really exactly what I need before going off to college. Even though we'll all be attending colleges within 45 minutes of each other, I know it will be difficult for us to stay as close as we are now. Although my friend Bekah will be going to the same college as me, I will still have to endure the experience of a new place and new people, while dealing with the pressure of college courses, as will all of the class of 2010. However, I know that changes are good for me. It's just a little scary. I suppose the fact that the future is wide open terrifies me the most. I mean, in four years I will be either getting a real job or going to grad school. So much depends on what's happening within the next year! I mean, college is all about finding yourself, right? What if I don't like what I find? Or others don't like it? Somehow, I have come through a tumultuous four years of drama, drama, drama! And I feel like this year has been a year of personal changes regarding my world view, ideology, and theology. I'm not sure I can handle much more change. I suppose many almost high school graduates are feeling this way right now. There is so much rushing at me right now. And despite my complete joy and excitement about getting out of high school and my hometown, I am completely terrified.

"the sum of my entire existence"

PRECAL= DEATH. That is basically the sum of my entire existence right now. But less than 2 weeks till class trip to New York! I'm so excited! But yea, boring day. Went to work at the Cafeteria. Only 31 students came through! During the school year we have an average of 650! So yay for laziness and summer! It can't come quick enough!

"I forgot my umbrella"

So, my school had the junior/senior banquet yesterday! It was... wet. I went to my friend Bekah's house to get ready, and we had an amazing time. Yet, after hours spent getting pretty, we got soaked!! (Yes, those curlers are incredibly uncomfortable.) So the banquet was at the Zoo, and was mostly outdoors. No fun. I forgot my umbrella. And then Bekah's broke. But after we left I gave up on trying to stay dry and just walked through the rain. A group of us went to the cutest little ice cream shop! That was a lot of fun. Probably more fun than the banquet itself. But at least I now have a really good story to tell about banquet! I have to say, I love my friends. They can make even the lamest evening (aka murder mystery banquet at the zoo in the rain) into a great memory!

"a bit obsessive"

Hi there. So, i really am not the most exciting person ever. But my darling friend stephanie convinced me to start a blog. So i did. Here goes.

This is what this week consisted of.

Monday- being chewed out by my manager for something I didn't do. Not fun. (BTW I work at Smoothie King. It's pretty cool.) HOWEVER, the day was saved by the fact that I got a 31 on the ACT! So now I have a full ride for college, and I am uber-excited. I found this out a 6 A.M. Two of my friends, Bekah and Eli, both texted me at like 1:30 AM to tell me that the scores had been posted online. They're both a bit obsessive.

Tuesday- School. Work (at a college cafeteria as a cashier. Not Smoothie King. Yes, I have two jobs.) School was decent. I mean, Precal sucks. But I'm used to that. I started my Comp. 102 exam, I think I did fine! Religion class is pointless. My teacher just repeats himself over and over again. Now he's on this whole 'don't date in high school' kick.

Wednesday- School. It was ok. Slept through Earth Science because all we did was watch a movie that had nothing to do with the subject we are studying. Then journalism. Fun hanging out with Eli. He's a pretty cool guy. For a junior. Then I went to work at Smoothie King. Not bad. Had some pretty... unique people come in!

Thursday- Finished the Comp. 102 exam! Pretty sure I rocked it! And got my research paper back! 93%!!! Then work at the cafeteria. We were only open from 5-5:30 for dinner because final exams are over there. Then to the gym with Stephie and Damaris, then to Steph's house to curl Damaris' hair, drink iced coffee, and watch music videos! Oh, and make this blog ;).

Friday (today)- No school :) slept in. Just chillin' at home!