Memorializing.....

So, I've decided that I really need to stop being lazy and start memorializing my college years. I mean, they are such a unique time! When else will I live in a place that is solely made of young people and learning? So here are some photos from the past week. It was very interesting....

This is Ty. Yes, that is a fake fetus on a string. I doubt Lee will be using this as an advertisement for the Kairos Honor Society.

This is Tyler. He's super intellectual, and the sweetest guy ever.

This is Jordan. He is.... sarcastic. And hilarious.

This is Natalie. She is one of the sweetest, most beautiful people ever. She should have been born in the Victorian age.

This is Abby. She is my musical soul mate.

Me, Paige, Bekah. I have known Bekah for almost six years and she is my bestie. Paige plays rugby and should be a therapist.

This is Diff. He's my peer leader, my friend, and tries really hard to give me advice. He's hilarious and sweet and sincere.

This is Samson (the dog). He's the sweetest dog ever. And I don't even know his owners name.

This is Hanna. She's super fashionable in that whole "I just threw this on" kinda way.

Fin. (for now)

"I wouldn't change it for anything..."

So here are a few things I've learned about life.

1. Apparently I'm "computer savvy." And apparently one lesson on hacking from a nerd can get you into anyone's facebook account. Interesting.....

2. Don't post something online, delete it, and expect it to be gone. Cause guess what? There's copies of everything online and I can find them quite easily.

3. It really pisses me off when a perfume store is called "His Witness: Christian Perfumes and Gifts". Yea, you people suck. Cause perfumes can't be Christian.

4. I love naps. Specifically, I love naps on Saturday afternoons when I can wake up and go to Target with one of my BFFs after.

5. Rugby is violent. And I love it. Does that make me a bad person?

6. Lame youtube videos can make my day so much better.

7. Driving through your hometown can bring back bittersweet memories. No matter how badly I wanted out, it's still my home. I miss you, Collegedale.

8. My hair looks like an afro when I wake up.

9. People who say "I am who I am and I'm not changing for anyone or anything" are complete idiots. The universe revolves around change. Now, I'm not saying that you should go dye your hair bleach blonde because you want to join a sorority. But, change can be good. You can grow in yourself, in your religion, and in your wants, needs, and desires.

10. But sometimes, change can be bad. Don't backslide. Don't lose the fundamental aspects of yourself. And don't throw the things or people you care about most because you think there's something wrong with you.

11. Longboards are cool. There's no denying it. But don't run me over with it because you have no idea what your doing. And don't think YOUR cool because the OBJECT your on is cool. It's like saying your cool because your standing on the Eiffel Tower. It just doesn't work.

12. It can be hard to readjust to a new place. But it's so exhilarating that I wouldn't change it for anything.

13. Sometimes the best friends are the ones who slap you and say "Dude, WAKE UP" (both metaphorically and for reals.) But sometimes, the best ones let you nap for three hours because they know how badly you need it.

14. I'm addicted to Facebook. Ugh.

15. It's so easy to crush on older guys. :)

16. But it's better to become friends with said older guys. Because they're (usually) mature enough to give you some awesome advice.

17. I'm a freakin social butterfly.

18. I'm also a nerd. Those two don't mix well.

19. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and say I'm sorry.

20. But sometimes, your right, and you have to decide whether it's worth it or not to hold onto the right to say "I'm right. Your wrong. Deal with it."

21. And sometimes its alright to skip your homework to get out all of the stuff that's been floating around your head for a week and a half.

G'night all. Here's a photo that makes me smile.

"the jankest place to be found in Cleveland, TN"

Today I went to the jankest place to be found in Cleveland, Tn. Scratch that. One of the jankest places. Either way, Farmhouse is a restaurant frequented by Lee students because of the large portions and cheap prices. And it was AMAZING. For serious. I ordered the vegetable plate (Yay for being vegetarian) and I must say, the mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, cole slaw, and corn nuggets were the epitome of down-home southern cooking. I have never felt so full after eating the cafeteria food! It was in this tiny little building that looked like a run-down bar. I was actually kind of nervous going in! Afterwards, I rode around with the two other thirds of the Tres Hermanos and we rocked out to Lady Gaga. We might have gotten a wolf whistle from another car... All in all, an amazing, hectic, wonderful day!

"monumental changes..."

Wow. I cannot believe how long it has been since my last post. Well, I suppose I should start out with the monumental changes that have occurred in my life.

1. I started college!!!!!

2. I'm on the Mock Trial team aka The Society for Law and Justice

3. I've met some wicked awesome people.

4. I miss my home friends! I've known them all since Freshman year, and I've known some for way longer than that.

5. I live in a dorm. It's really small. But it's a great community, and I'm right in the center of campus.

6. I've gotten into some awesome music, courtesy of my awesome friend Abby. She makes AMAZING mix CD's.

7. I discovered that I'm socially awkward. Apparently I'm not good at the whole meeting new people thing.

8. I've become randomly spontaneous. Ex: Abby mentioned that there was a cool band, Ra Ra Riot playing in Nashville, and that she wanted to go. Despite never even hearing about this band, I jumped online and bought tickets and will be crashing on her boyfriends floor the night of the concert. Which is really strange for me.

Well, goodnight all. My roommate is asleep and I am headed that way.

Memories...

There are two things that I have learned about myself in the past two days.

1. I am very sentimental. 2. I am very materialistic.

As for no. 1, I am sure there are many many 18 year olds that are feeling the same way. In 4 days, I will walk out of my house, drive thirty minutes to Lee University, and move in. A tiny, 14 by 16 room will be my home for the next 9 months. I will live with a girl that I have never met, and only spoken to four times. I will share a bathroom with my roommate, and two suitemates, one from New York City, and one from Cleveland, who enjoys hunting. Yay. (I should point out that I'm a vegetarian, as is my roommate. Somehow I don't think we'll be BFFs with our suitemate!)

2. Number 1 is the whole reason that I realized number 2. I have tons of CRAP. Seriously. In my short eighteen years in this room, I have collected a crazy amount of useless stuff. And I like it that way. I doubt I'll ever be one of those minimalistic people who like fung shui and order. I... like disorder. I enjoy throwing my bracelet down on my desk, accidentally knocking it off, and not finding it for 3 months. That's just the way I am. Clutter makes a room feel.... completed. Without clutter, rooms feel like they are just part of a hotel, not really home. Because people collect clutter as they go throughout their lives. There's no denying it, and it's impossible to avoid. And this is where my two realizations about myself collide. Some people realize their materialism, spend a day de-cluttering their home, and move on, feeling better about their nicely organized space. Not me. I hold on to this clutter, not wanting to lose it. It reminds me of the things in my life that have defined me. I have an old, signed ticket from an Eisley concert two years ago sitting in a picture frame that holds a photo of me and one of my bffs, Stephie. This ticket is old, dirty, and smells faintly of disgusting smoke and beer. But it is one of my most treasured items. I still have a Best Buy gift card that I have never used, because it is from a boy that I will probably never completely get over. And I have 2 and a half years worth of Teen Vogues that I refuse to throw in the trash, no matter how many times my mother tries to get me to. I guess that's just who I am.

I think I'm developing a pattern of writing posts at late hours. Maybe that's when I'm psychotic enough to put my views and personal opinions about everything from my life to Sarah Palin online where anyone can read them. BTW, I dislike Sarah Palin. I think she could have had a chance at being beneficial to the U.S. if she had actually learned anything about government beforehand. Now, I just can't get all of those SNL skits out of my head. Well, the skits and the fact that I disagree with a large majority of her opinions. On on somewhat related note, a guy (very cute) came into Smoothie King today. After ordering his smoothie, paying, and saying "Thanks, you have a good day too," he proceeds to tell me, "Vote my dad for judge, Jay Atherton, cause he's a great guy." I have to tell you, if I were voting, I would most definitely not vote for a candidate based on his teenage son's view of him! Well, at least that gave me some interesting ideas about arguing with cute boys in Smoothie Kings about whether or not Republicans have any idea how to run the government. Good times.... On a slightly hilarious note, I have recently discovered Chelsea Lately! This show is.... hilarious. I cannot even explain the hilarity. I can merely show:

This chick makes me hold my stomach and laugh so hard I cry. And on that happy note, I sign off, with a promise to myself that I will keep up this 2 day streak of writing every day. And that I will actually write about things that are interesting to people other than myself. And that they won't all be about how I fear the future.

Oh, the random analogy I came up with at 1 AM

If theres one thing I've discovered about myself lately, it's that I am a loner. Somehow, I spent the last few months of high school being terrified of losing my friends after we graduated. Yet, I have realized that I am kind of pushing them away. Why is this? Is my fear of losing them making me want some control over the situation? Have I out grown them? Or have they out grown me? Slowly, I see my friends moving on. I see them spending all of there time with people I do not know and do not relate to, instead of desiring to spend any time at all with me. I see them growing in amazing ways, processes that I was not a part of. I see them stretching their lives around so many new things that I do not comprehend. And it scares me. But at the same time, it challenges me; it slaps me in the face; it does not allow me to waver in my indecisiveness. It shoves me over the cliff. I am in free fall, and there is no one beside me. I look up, and at the edge of the cliff I see those people who I thought were my everything, and I ache at the thought of leaving them, but I also shake my fist at them. I look down, towards a great ocean of prosperity and happiness. But to fall into this ocean I must navigate my way past the great, jagged rocks that stick out of the crashing waves and threaten me. I have no idea where I will land. I have no idea if a great gust of wind will push me back towards the cliff. And I do not know if those that I left at the edge of the cliff will jump, and join me. My life is one of a great many unknowns. And I'm horrifically exhilarated by that.